"London is a melting pot" - my ass...

I was chillin in a car the other week with a few country bumpkins (from the outskirts of Cambridge). We got to talking about Notting Hill Carnival, and I relayed a grim story about how one of my friends witnessed a stabbing at carnival this year. The conversation then went as follows...
Bumpkin #1: "Yeah, it's pretty dangerous there."
Bumpkin #2: "Well, of course - it's full of blacks."
At this point, as I scrambled to pick my jaw off the floor, I couldn't help myself - I busted up into hysterical laughter. Who the fuck says that, let alone thinks it? What the hell century are we in? Bumpkin #2 awkwardly laughed with me, clearly oblivious as to why I was screaming with laughter. He really had no reservations because he genuinely thought it was an acceptable thing to say. Meanwhile, Bumpkin #1, realizing that there was a half-minority in the car, attempted to make a pathetic joke to cover up his friend's ignorance (something like "Uh yeah, of course there's black people there - like, imagine a Caribbean festival full of just white people!" *insert cringeworthy posh laugh here*).

All in all, it's a situation I've been stuck in countless times on this side of the pond: someone makes a outrageous prejudiced statement, and I laugh it off as this country's problem, not mine. When I first moved here and got hit with England's prevailing, overwhelming racism, I would self-righteously stick up for what I believe in (in one instance, I even told some closet racist I was half black to prove a point, and the cretin believed me - I'm half Japanese, bitch!). But these days, I just sit back and watch the comedy unravel. London, despite its exaggerated and unrealistic claims to be a fucking "melting pot" (if I hear that phrase one more time, heads will roll), is a diverse city overflowing with isolated people that secretly disdain, mock and scrutinize anything different from themselves. I went to college in Indiana, capital of Racism, USA - for example, a week before my classes started, the local high school cheerleaders dressed up in KKK costumes at a basketball game - and I experience far more racism here. At least twice a week someone will speak in mock Chinese/Japanese to me (ie. "sayonara" "ni hao"...some dude even yelled "sushi!" down the street the other day), and I constantly have to explain to people that yes, I do speak Engrish. Last year, someone threw a snowball at me and then asked, "What are you gonna do, Jackie Chan?" while busting out a few karate chops.

And while for the most part I find this shit hilarious, there are days when I'm just not in the mood. Today being one of them, mainly because I'm dealing with a hellacious champagne hangover, but also because on my walk/stumble into work this morning, some random builder hollered out "ching chong China!" I pointed at him and his witless builder friends and said, "Ewww, white people!" (sorry dad)
I'm scared that when I leave work they'll all be waiting for me in the parking lot with a burning wok.

Anyway, in response to Dr Hwen's hangover cure, I'm finding that my hangover declined slightly when I rediscovered Louie Austen today. So for any of you who may have a sore head, let Louie and Herbert heal all...

Louie Austen - Hoping (Herbert's High Dub)