R Kelly's in space!

It's true - read all about it: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23328864-5001028,00.html

Gotta say, as exciting as it is to imagine Kells singing for the 'Trapped' "aliens" (remember THIS?!), I'm a little disappointed with the selection. I wish they'd chosen a more appropriate song, I mean it was so obvious...

R Kelly - Sex Planet

Easy Target Of The Month: Color Me Badd

Color Me Badd's ‘I Wanna Sex You Up’ is the most non-threatening, passive sex song ever. What an opening line: “Come inside, take off your coat, I’ll make you feel at home.” Now that’s just plain courteous yo! Oh Color Me Badd, it’s just as we remember: pastel suits, shoulder pads, designer stubble and that weird dance which looks like an escapology routine. The lead singer looks like a more feminine version of Bridgette Nielson who thought pencil eyebrows were the way to go, then there’s the guy who seems to be the weird amalgamation of George Michael and Laura Bush who’s not only straightened his hair but blow dried it out too…

I've put the 'live' 'performance' of their 'hit' below. The crowd seemed to be so embarrased by the act they barely pay any attention to the fiasco going on, and just cut some some rug to 'some bird singing on a soul record'



Now obviously a lot of what went on during the early 90's falls under the disclaimer 'fuck off it seemed cool at the time' but I've got a strong recollection of Color Me Badd and even in the innocence of my youth, I knew they were fucking weird.

(Teck) Tonic Youth

Last summer Yoann, my super-hip 17 year old French nephew was dismayed to hear that I had never heard of Tecktonik, the new-ish dance craze apparently sweeping my native France, with the heart of the movement in the capital Paris where impromptu dance-offs are taking place everywhere from La Defense to the Tour Eiffel… Some call-it a hip-hop & techno inspired mash-up style - it looks mostly like accelerated "voguing" by glam-rock & punkish looking youths, from where I'm standing.

Yoann proceeded to educate me on the origins of the movement: the legend says it was created by a bunch of bored kids who started to come up with new dance moves in a suburban nightclub called the Metropolis - and let me take a moment here to explain how surprising this sounds, considering back in my day, the Metropolis was one of those dreadful venues where you'd usually end up if a/ you'd missed the last metro into town and were therefore condemned to an evening with all the losers that hang on the edges of the city - b/ you were underage, and / or had been turned down by absolutely every other club - c/ you'd been dragged there against your better judgement by a bunch of your girlfriends who got you drunk on rum in order to render you less hostile, and been sentenced to an evening surrounded by the strangest mix of spotty youngsters and questionable looking older men in shiny polyester suits. But I digress. The reality is more likely to have something to do with the two boy-geniuses credited with launching the movement (and making a mint from it all), through their club night and subsequent clothing line called TCK - nowadays other specialist shops have opened their doors to the 15-25 year old fans of the craze who can live, breathe, have their hair done and get all their kicks in a strictly Tecktonik fashion.

As far as I can gather, public opinion is evenly divided on tecktonik between those who see this as a laughable no-future fashion glitch for a mostly young, white, suburban middle class crowd (despite the fact that the trend has existed for several years now, and managed to spread from the Parisian burbs all the way to Belgium, Germany and Northern Italy, largely thanks to YouTube) and those who applaud the good-natured enthusiasm of its followers. Personally, seeing these young boys and girls with their brightly coloured skinny jeans, spiky belts and ironic haircuts rehearsing their moves in the R.E.R made me laugh more than anything else - ok, mostly with them, but still sometimes at them. The music may be dreadful and the dancing itself may leave some feeling dubious, but I do like the fact that the "teams" - as they are known - take over the streets of Paris on a whim, and manage to remain optimistic in a nation known for being so critical and for not necessarily encouraging individual expression. You may get away with wearing a mullet in London, but in Paris let me tell you, it's an actual act of courage to go out dressed as these kids do. It's also interesting that their introduction to dance music and club culture is strictly innocent (and rather athletic) - quite a change from the drug-fuelled early 90's rave scene from whence techno & dance music once took off. So I am poised and ready to see what the future holds for Techtonik and its addicts - last I saw, it was being embraced by the mainstream French media and pop song routines were being choreographed to include the brand new moves. So here we go. In Eastern Europe in the meantime, there's always the "jumpstyle" craze…