Hot Doug's

I don't care what anybody says... Chicago is the absolute king of fast food. Only certain places in Wisconsin can even be compared to the kind of filthy excess and disgusting eating habits of the Chicagoan. It pretty much obliterates all competition. I have never been anywhere on the planet with nearly as many Vienna Beef hot dog stands, taco burrito kings, pizza restaurants, gyros factories, etc... the list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on. What would you like today? A fucking fried twinky? I can get you one of those.

Other cities have pizza joints that claim to have "Chicago-style" pizza. This is a total falsehood. Never in my life have I encountered a restaurant outside of Chicago that has captured the TRUE essence of Chicago-style pizza. Nowhere else can you buy a 15-inch pizza with three vertical inches of cheese stuffed within cheese, layered over a buttered pastry crust. Nowhere is the excess quite as glorious. Granted, I imagine that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE has exported this phenomenon to some other city and made a killing for offering a service so unique. However... the list of examples is probably a short one.

Some fast food joints around the city even offer a kind of multi-culti, all-in-one grease-festival that only a city as culturally diverse as this could. Where else can you find a singular location to offer burgers, tacos, hot dogs, gyros, pizza and chinese food in one? I know a place. This one place right by my house even features burgers, fries... and fucking bi bim bop!? Whose fucking idea was that?!

Anyways, for the most part, its a pretty awful phenomenon. Is it so wrong to desire a quick, accessible meal that doesn't make you feel like you've been swimming laps in a pool of toxic waste while being fed raw sewage intravenously? I don't think so.

HOWEVER... there are those days, like today for example, where nothing would more perfectly remedy your mid-day hunger than a chardonnay-infused rattlesnake sausage with blackberry creme fraiche and Saint Nectaire cheese. Rest assured, you live in Chicago... and this is completely attainable.

Enter Hot Doug's: The Sausage Superstore and Encased Meats Emporium. This is quite certainly among the world's finest establishments. One glance at the daily specials hosted on line is enough to destroy all thoughts of the turkey sandwich you brought to work from home in favor of some incredible, 600-calorie sausage monstrosity. Its just too easy.

Take a look for yourself and enjoy.

The sausage gods have blessed this city with eternal tastiness.

Blueberry venison sausage?



Duck foie gras?


It's all good!